You knew this was coming, of course. In the end, it wasn’t the shoes that did me in, although I do seem to be spending an inordinate amount of time tripping over my own heels. And my suit pants are scratchy and they chafe when I walk: well, let’s just say I look fabulous, but I’m literally itching to get this done with so I can slip into something more comfortable…

The Malfunction happened over breakfast: a cinnamon roll and some lemonade. I was chatting with Chris before leaving him at the hotel to work for the day; my day includes a morning meeting with the Ruler Lady, which went fabulously, the afternoon defense, then partying it up afterward.

“How are you?” Chris asked for possibly the five-hundredth time. (Could it be that he’s more nervous than me?)

“Fine. Okay. So-so. It comes and goes.”

“Ah, well, what’s the worst that can happen?”

“Well,” I said, leaning into the table for another swig of lemonade as I felt the small, subtle pop…

“What’s wrong? What happened?”

I looked down, yep, wouldn’t you know it. “Um, well, suppose I lost the button on my pants?” There it was, on my lap: the flat hook that clasps the front of my suit pants together. “It just came off!”

So after all the fretting over What to Wear, on the morning of my defense I had a Costume Malfunction. There are, of course, two buttons and a zipper holding my pants up…but after meeting with the Ruler Lady, I found a Store 24 that carries emergency sewing kits, and now here at the library I need to find a secluded carrel where I can do some self-sartorial stitchery.

The newest upshot? A $2.00 sewing kit may have just saved my academic career.

Unless, of course, it takes getting naked in front of my committee to get them to sign off on the defense draft so I don’t have to stay up tonight and into the hung-over hours of tomorrow doing last minute edits. Maybe instead of resewing that hook, I should stitch on some Velcro instead. Wanna wish me Zipless Luck?