Although the leaves are starting to turn here in Keene, my heart is still processing images from this weekend’s trip to Ohio. The last time I visited my family in Columbus, I was thoroughly disoriented when I returned here to New Hampshire: seemingly overnight while I was gone, the landscape had gone from winter sterility to summer fecundity. This trip home, the seasons similarly switched while I wasn’t looking: since returning to Keene on Monday night, I’ve started wearing long sleeves and shoes (versus shorts sleeves and sandals) in recognition of autumn’s arrival.
Apart from seasonal fluctuations, however, there are other, deeper reasons why visits home are disorienting for me. My life in New Hampshire and my life in Ohio are entirely distinct from one another. Whenever I return home, my parents treat me as if I never graduated and grew up: in their mind, it’s as if I am still a moody teenager holed up alone in her bedroom, venturing out only for meals. My parents’ world and my world are hugely different: whereas I don’t own much less watch a TV, my folks are perpetually glued in front of one of several; whereas I literally live much of my life online, both writing and teaching there, my folks don’t own a computer much less understand this nebulous notion of the Internet. I read voraciously; my parents don’t read at all. I despise country, the only music my parents can tolerate. Try as they might, my parents still can’t understand how a Ph.D. in English hasn’t bagged me a “real” job yet, and I’m completely at a loss to explain to them how it is that I’m qualified to teach college but not high school. (This latter fact is rather mystifying, come to think of it, which might be why I’m entirely ill-equipped to explain it to my parents’ satisfaction.)
More troubling than my inability to explain my New Hampshire life and lifestyle to my midwestern parents, though, is my inability to explain Ohio to New England. Although Ohio and New Hampshire aren’t too terribly estranged–there are plenty of people here, for instance, who listen to country music–the life I lead here in Keene is completely divorced from my parents’ working class roots. Here in New England, I am an academic, someone scrambling her way upward into the Educated Elite; in Ohio, I’m just another truck driver’s daughter living in a seedy neighborhood filled with strip clubs and junked cars. My family has never been to New England to see the likes of Harvard or MIT, and my grad school friends and professional colleagues have never been to Columbus to see the “ghetto” neighborhood where I grew up. As the saying goes, you can take a girl out of the streets, but you can’t take the streets out of the girl…but what that saying leaves out is how strongly and entirely a girl can shut out the streets, the doors of denial being heavy and close-fitting.
Over the years, I’ve encountered many writers–most of them people of color–who write about the “doubleness” of crossing from the seedy to the sparkling side of the tracks. Like bell hooks, in college I often felt I had more in common with my school’s janitors and cafeteria workers than I did with my professors; like Richard Rodriguez, I know what it’s like to be a “scholarship girl” who saw straight A’s as being a way out of a dead-end situation. Like John Edgar Wideman, I’ve felt like a traitor to my family when I consider the “academic self” I present to my professional colleagues: I know, for instance, that the way I talk when I’m around my folks is different from how I talk around other professors and live in perpetual fear that my uncouth, “uneducated” background will slip out when least suspected.
When you’re a working class girl who finds herself with pen (and digicam) in hand, this question of loyalty becomes particularly pronounced. When should you speak, and when should you keep silent? Do you dare show the world where you really come from: will the world despise you for your low class ways, or will they chuckle behind a cultured hand at the “white trash” you consider kin? In The Business of Fancydancing, Sherman Alexie explores the “doubleness” that a Native American writer feels when he decides to betray his fellows by leaving the reservation and becoming a successful poet: how can you live with yourself when you know you’re making money off of other people’s stories, and how can you go back home after casting your lot with the outside world and its acclaim?
This fall, my freshmen at Keene State College are reading and discussing the memoir Ecology of a Cracker Childhood by KSC Writer-in-Residence Janisse Ray. Growing up in a junkyard in rural Georgia, Ray felt shame about her “white trash” upbringing only after she ventured away from home to go to school; only after moving north did she learn that Yankees mock and despise Southerners. In Ray’s case, the secret to understanding and embracing a childhood that involved poverty, mental illness, religious fanaticism, and physical abuse lay in an over-arching ecological vision: if you learn to love a place, you’ll see how that place and its creatures are intrinsically connected. Mourning as much for the demise of Georgia’s long-leaf pines and the environmental degradation of its landscape as she does for the family members she has lost over the years, Ray points to how place is connected to identity. In a culture where trees are valued as mere commodity, is it any wonder that we’d allow our interactions with other humans to be colored with prejudice, fear, and inequality?
To paraphrase an old saying, east is east and midwest is midwest, and never the twain shall meet. And yet I carry both flatlands and mountains, simple uneducated folks and upper class academics, in my heart of hearts: coming from and living in both places, I recognize the impress they each have on the shape of my soul. At the end of the day, the sun sets on white trash and educated elite alike; the grass is equally green on both sides of that fence. When the Pentecost spirit rained down like fire from the heavens, it fell on rich and poor man alike: should sunshine or enlightenment be any different?
Sep 29, 2004 at 4:40 pm
It seems to me that you are where you are because of your drive, fueled by an unstoppable desire to go beyond the culture in which you were raised. Do you think you would have achieved what you have without that drive? If you had been born with the proverbial silver spoon in mouth, would you still have risen to Dr. Lori? We are all products of our upbringings combined with either rebellion or condescension into the familiar. But the more important issue is always what we’ll do with the time we have left, because that’s all we can control. How and why we got there gives us character; rising above a culture one doesn’t want to accept for life is a great achievement, more than one who accomplishes a similar feat without the challenges you’ve faced and dispatched. Great post, Doc, and one that certainly has me thinking about motivation and drive.
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Sep 29, 2004 at 7:04 pm
You’re who you are because of who you are, and don’t forget that, young lady. You wouldn’t have the drive to do what you’ve had to do if you weren’t a truck driver’s daughter. That teaches you something. The stamina to do what you’ve done comes both genetically and from environment factors, and you had a big dose of it from both sources growing up in your little piece of Ohio.
A fellow recently asked poet Karl Elder “If Tom Montag were a building or architectural structure, what would he be?” and Karl Elder said “Tom Montag would be a barn, and proud of it.” And Tom Montag agrees.
Be a barn, and proud of it!
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Sep 29, 2004 at 7:04 pm
You’re who you are because of who you are, and don’t forget that, young lady. You wouldn’t have the drive to do what you’ve had to do if you weren’t a truck driver’s daughter. That teaches you something. The stamina to do what you’ve done comes both genetically and from environment factors, and you had a big dose of it from both sources growing up in your little piece of Ohio.
A fellow recently asked poet Karl Elder “If Tom Montag were a building or architectural structure, what would he be?” and Karl Elder said “Tom Montag would be a barn, and proud of it.” And Tom Montag agrees.
Be a barn, and proud of it!
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Sep 29, 2004 at 8:15 pm
Interesting post. BTW, did you ever read T. Coraghessan Boyle’s “East is East”? It’s been quite awhile since I read it, but there were some amusing (well, caustic, this being Boyle) Georgia “cracker” bits in that book.
I understand that dichotomy – my folks were white collar but not college educated, but then I went to Smith, where some of the students must have literally been born with silver spoons in their mouths. Our culture allows this great freedom for some aspiring folks to educate ourselves beyond our parents’ dreams. And then there are the first and second generation immigrants, where parents and children can barely speak the same language literally and culturally. It makes for a lot of betwixt and between people here.
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Sep 30, 2004 at 6:33 am
What a post. Fascinating from my position in these class-ridden islands. There are all sorts of crossings, aren’t there. Journeys that seem never to end.
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Sep 30, 2004 at 5:47 pm
I remember vividly the “clique” that I belonged to in Grad school. We none of us could quite put our finger on what it was that set us apart, until we realized that it was simply that we weren’t east-coast prep-school Americans. We were Westerners and Southerners and Australians, and we never knew quite how to dress nor exactly when you should address someone as “Mr,” let alone “Professor.” We’d grown up in strongly anti-intellectual cultures, and we were amazed and gratified to find that we had come to a place where you didn’t have to apologize for knowing French or wanting to talk about William Blake. It was a queer sensation — was it a homecoming, or an exile? Well — both.
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Oct 2, 2004 at 7:57 am
Wow, lots of interesting comments on this post! I guess there are more “double-spirits” (or *fans* of double-spirits) out there than I knew!
You raise an interesting philosophical question, Gary, when you talk about “drive.” I don’t normally think of myself as a particularly “driven” person: I just do what I do, and I *never* felt like I fit into the world where I was raised. (Actually, I’m not sure I’ve ever fit in anywhere!) š If you don’t feel like you belong somewhere, you naturally try to find somewhere that feels more “homey,” so that’s all I’ve done…I think! But the question of “who would I be if I’d grown up somewhere else” is incredibly interesting: a point to spend a lifetime pondering?
First off, Tom, I love the name you used to sign your blog-comment (Mom & Dad?) I’m *hoping* you were commenting on one of your daughters blogs before you headed over to Hoarded Ordinaries to comment? š Yep, you strike me as very much like a barn…but I think I’m more of a garage, or storage shed, or maybe a pop-trailer. I don’t know exactly, but your point is well-taken: be who you are, be where you are, and be *from* where you’re from. In the end, it’s all very Zen, you see! š
Leslee, I haven’t read *any* Boyle, but “East is East” sounds fascinating. My friend “A” went to Smith for a while–she ended up transferring–so she is in a book club with other Smith alumnae that I occasionally “crash.” The women are wonderful: how terrible it would have been had I gone to school there & allowed all that silver spoon karma to brainwash me into thinking they were “different” from me! š
qB, in the States at least, we talk a lot about race as being a deep (and deeply sensitive) dividing line…but we relatively rarely talk about class. Americans like to *think* we’ve left that whole class business behind, but there have always been haves & have nots. It’s easy for rich folks to believe that “all men are created equal,” but folks on the bottom of the ladder know that some people are “more equal” than others.
Dale, I love this question you pose: homecoming or exile? I think you just summed up the spiritual condition of being human…it’s just some folks are more painfully aware of their “in but not of” status. Those types tend to be loners…but they also tend to find each other out. It’s like they fluctuate between *wanting* to be exiled and *wanting* to find a home.
Thanks, everyone, for the thought-provoking comments!
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