It’s official: we’re officially Sick of Rain here in the sodden Northeast. This morning I made my usual rounds through the blogosphere only to discover that both Leslee and Kathleen share my drizzle-drenched malaise. It looks like the only Quick Fix anyone can think of it to get outta here, fast: anyone with three tickets to Warm, Dry, & Preferably Hurricane-Free can send them this way, quickly, and I’ll tell Leslee and Kathleen to pack their bags, pronto.

While I’m planted here in Mudville in the interim, I decided I needed a little help staying Warm & Happy this winter. Since yesterday was the one-year anniversary of D-day, I D-cided I D-served a reward for surviving the first year after my D-vorce. Heeding the prophecies of a long, cold winter, I headed to my local Bed, Bath, and Beyond to buy one of these. And after just one night of toasty comfort, all I can do is wonder how I survived New England winters back in the day when winter meant crawling into a blanket-laden bed with cold flannel sheets.

So yes, it’s official. This year, I’m hibernating. Somebody tell Mother Nature that I for one am mad as Hell, and I’m not going to take it any more. The ’60s were the era of Sit-Ins, and I propose the ’00s to be the decade of warm, electric-preheated Sleep-Ins…starting tomorrow, after I go to teach another gaggle of sleepy-eyed, freshly crawled-from-bed freshmen who love this dismal weather about as much as I do.