J was the one to spot “my” grave during our stroll through Newton Cemetery this afternoon. As much as I enjoy exploring cemeteries, today was the first time I’ve ever encountered a tombstone with my name on it. As far as I know, I don’t have any relatives living (or once living) in Newton, Massachusetts, so I’ll assume “DiSabato” is more common a name than I knew. Still, it’s a bit creepy to turn around and see a carved-in-stone reminder of your own mortality. There eventually go I, and you, and all of us.
I don’t normally find cemeteries to be creepy places…and yet, I occasionally see memorials that stop me cold, offering as they do a tangible reminder of the mortality we all share. Tombstones marking the graves of children always give me pause, and today, J and I saw several graves that were adorned with Valentine’s Day hearts and flowers, a sign that the Dearly Departed really are dear. After seeing the usual His and Hers grave markers with the name of a still-living widow or widower next to the birth and death dates of a deceased spouse, J talked of visiting his grandfather’s grave with his grandmother, her name chiseled alongside her husband’s. I suppose there’s a certain amount of comfort in knowing where and with whom your ultimate resting place will be,visits to your own (eventual) grave being one way of getting to know your (eventual) neighborhood.
Both J and I grew quiet when we approached a field of war dead, that portion of any cemetery always seeming too large. But the memorial that stunned us both into silence was this one, the death date (September 11, 2001) explaining why this particular loss happened far too prematurely:
After we got home, J went online find the face and story behind the stone. Some souls continue to be mourned even by those of us who never knew them in the flesh.
Hoarded Ordinaries 
Feb 24, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Very sad, the last one. And bizarre to see your own name there. Whoah.
LikeLike
Feb 25, 2008 at 10:36 am
Even living very far from America, I remember how I cried this day of september, when I saw the pictures on Television;
Seeing this grave , the deep sadness comes back immediately;
We’ll never forget.
LikeLike
Feb 25, 2008 at 7:54 pm
Yes, both J and I stopped in our tracks when we saw that last grave. September 11 is one of those defining moments that we all carry with us; I remember for months after the attacks, I’d turn on the radio in the morning to make sure everything was okay versus there being some new disaster. It was odd how seeing this grave brought that sense of collective grief back, even before we went online to research the particulars of another life cut short.
LikeLike
Mar 4, 2008 at 6:04 pm
The memories have come flooding back of the fear, sadness and all those other emotions that kept me a ball of emotion for weeks after 9/11. Thanks for sharing and looking up the info on Mr. Quigley.
LikeLike