Today’s Photo Friday theme is Food, so here’s a rerun of the “table with tapas” shot I blogged after my birthday in January.
Although I have more than a month before my next birthday, I’ve started to think about what I want to do to celebrate the Big 4-0 this year. Interestingly, I can’t think of anything I want to splurge on. It isn’t that I don’t want to celebrate a milestone that some women find depressing; instead, I find myself so grateful for the metaphorical full plate that is my life, I can’t think of anything I want that I don’t already have.
In my Zen school, we sometimes use the term “enough-mind” to describe the sense of satisfaction you feel when things are, as Goldilocks would say, “just right.” “Enough-mind” doesn’t feed the extremes of starving or splurging; “enough-mind” pushes away from the table, satisfied, at precisely the moment it feels full, not stuffed. “Enough-mind fish never touches the hook” is one of the idiomatic phrases Zen Master Seung Sahn used to say. If you have a mindset of having “enough,” you won’t be tempted by even the most alluring bait. If you are content with what you have, you won’t swallow anything hook, line, and sinker.
In the days immediately after my divorce, I experienced a strange thrill of satisfaction whenever I went grocery shopping. The simple act of filling my cart with food, paying for it with money I myself had earned, and then unpacking it into my own refrigerator, shelves, and cupboards felt like an unimaginable luxury. What richness there is, I thought, in having a week’s worth of food close at hand, even if that food is something as plain Jane as oatmeal.
Interestingly, I’ve not lost that sense of awed wonder in the four years since my divorce: I still feel amply and wonderfully blessed when I come home from the grocery store. Last night, as I made my weekly commute between Keene and Newton, I arrived with groceries: enough food to last the weekend and week. J and I have planned a quiet Thanksgiving: nothing fancy, just enough. It feels good to know how much your metaphorical larder can hold; having stocked that, you need nothing else. Enough is enough, and sometimes that’s very good indeed.
Nov 21, 2008 at 1:38 pm
Yes. Nothing missing.
Wonderful post, Lorianne.
Teresa
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Nov 21, 2008 at 4:40 pm
It feels good to know how much your metaphorical larder can hold; having stocked that, you need nothing else.
Yes. So much yes.
If your regular commute brought you nearer to my neck of the woods, I would love to suggest a gathering in celebration of the coming birthday — dinner? drinks? a walk in the woods? But alas, I fear our orbits are likely to continue to fail to coincide…
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Nov 21, 2008 at 6:27 pm
I had no big splurge in mind for my big birthday this year either, having *had* to spend so much on moving just a couple of months before. I did enjoy spending some gift cash on replacing a few broken and chipped things which, like fixing broken windows in a bad neighborhood, made home feel like a more basically nice place to live.
At any rate, we will need to celebrate your big 4-0 (oh, so young!) in proper fashion.
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Nov 21, 2008 at 6:50 pm
Coincidence had me ponder the “enough” frame of mind today as well and I was thinking of tying that in with this week’s photo Friday theme. Your post was “enough,” though to really bring to fore that flavor of the “enough.”
Who knows, I might be in your neck of the woods soon enough again, and perhaps we can toast your birthday again?
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Nov 22, 2008 at 12:17 pm
I’m thinking a birthday dinner somewhere with belly dancing would be just the ticket: a spot of warmth in the January chill. But we’ll see what I feel like when the actual date approaches.
Rachel, my NH/MA commute unfortunately doesn’t bring me any closer to western Mass…but if you’re ever in the Boston area on a weekend, we might be golden!
Leslee, I think you’ve pinpointed my exact “problem”: when I have things that are broken or chipped, I replace them. When I need or want things, I buy them. In other words, I’m so used to buying things when I actually need them, when the time comes to splurge, there’s nothing I need or want. I guess I could buy myself more clothes or jewelry or whatever…but I already have enough of those things. So, there’s the problem: I’m content with what I already have. It’s actually “no problem” at all. ๐
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Nov 24, 2008 at 6:11 pm
I turn 40 this year also. There’s nothing that I want for, except a wish for a more stable economy. OK, I wish I could lose some weight too. ๐
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