On Monday night, I submitted the last batch of grades for my face-to-face classes at Keene State, officially ending a busier-than-usual Spring semester: time to re-introduce myself to my own life.
I’ve written before about the weird let-down I experience twice a year, in December and May, at the end of a busy semester, “the transition from super-busy to leisurely shocking me with its suddenness.” For the past few weeks, I’ve been juggling four classes, and for several months before that, I was juggling five; now, suddenly, I’m teaching only one. Now that I’ve submitted grades, I’m revisiting long-procrastinated tasks and reintroducing myself to friends I haven’t seen all semester, both my to-do lists and my social life tending to fall by the wayside at the height of the academic year, when the effort of juggling two jobs and living in two states takes most of my mental focus. The sudden switch from “on” to “off” is welcome, but disorienting in its own way.
One of the things I’ve been itching to have more time for is writing, both here on-blog and in my offline journal. I managed to keep up (mostly) with my morning journal-pages this semester, as I’ve learned over the years not to postpone the important stuff. But for the past month or so, during the always-busy month of April, I’ve downsized my morning routine, writing two pages rather than my usual four. Writing only two pages doesn’t save that much time from writing four, but when I’m busy, I find myself spending most of my journal-pages simply reiterating the to-dos I’ve listed elsewhere, spinning my wheels just thinking about the upcoming day’s tasks. At a certain point, it’s less frustrating to put down the pen and actually get down to doing the things you need to do rather than scribbling on about them, and writing two journal-pages a day is my compromise in the face of that fact: a nod to my busy schedule, but a conscious decision to keep in daily touch (literally) with the blank page.
I find there’s a substantial difference between writing two journal-pages and writing four, a kind of degree of depth you achieve after you’ve run out of superficial things to say. Once you’ve spent two pages describing the weather or noting the current behaviors of any of a number of pets, you then turn the page and have to dig a bit deeper to fill two more pages. Once you’ve stated the obvious–once you’ve repeated the same mundane observations you note pretty much every day–you have to go beneath these superficial details to figure out what’s “really” on your mind. Once you’ve gotten over the introductory pleasantries, you can tackle the question of how you’re doing, really.
In the past, I’ve looked forward to summer as a chance to write longer and more thoughtful blog-posts, and I’m looking forward to that this summer, too. But I’m also looking forward to having time to write longer and more thoughtful journal entries, the writing I do simply and entirely for me. When I don’t have time to craft long or thoughtful blog-posts, I sometimes feel a twinge of guilt, as if I’m neglecting my blog and its readers; when I don’t have time to devote myself fully to my morning journal pages, I feel a twinge of sadness, as if I’m letting my own self down. Now that my summer is here, I’m truly happy to be write back in the rhythm of my own life.
Click here for more photos from the Boston Women’s Memorial, which I photographed last month on the way to Symphony Hall for a BSO concert. Enjoy!
May 12, 2010 at 3:33 pm
I love this post — happy writing!
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May 12, 2010 at 6:17 pm
So glad you enjoyed the memorial. Be sure to Google sculptor Meredith Bergmann to see more of her extraordinary work. I had the honor of helping to compose the biographical texts for each figure. As you probably noticed, each woman has come down from her pedestal and transformed it into a functional object.
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May 12, 2010 at 7:37 pm
Thanks, Keri. I’m glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you, artandhistory, for mentioning the biographical texts for each of the figures that make up the Boston Women’s Memorial, and the fact that they’ve climbed down from their pedestals. One of the things I like about this memorial is its inventive use of space.
The biographical texts can be found here:
Abigail Adams
Lucy Stone
Phillis Wheatley
Meredith Bergmann’s webpage is here, with images of her other work.
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May 13, 2010 at 12:53 pm
Having submitted my final grades on Wednesday, your end-of-term sentiments ring true. As a relatively new fan of this blog, the links to past related topics extended the moment for me. Many thanks. May your summer be relaxing, as well as productive!
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May 13, 2010 at 1:32 pm
Congratulations, Dale, on being done! I hope you enjoy your summer as much as I hope to, and thank you for taking the time to comment here.
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May 13, 2010 at 10:33 pm
good news – plenty for us to look forward to as you become more active here. hope you enjoy some summer freedom.
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May 14, 2010 at 9:01 am
I’m impressed that you’re able to maintain your handwritten journal as well as your blog. I more or less abandoned my journal when I began blogging, and I miss it sometimes — I definitely reach personal depths in my journal that I would never explore publicly on my blog. But I just can’t do both! Even now, when I’m not working, it seems like it might be a stretch!
It’s also interesting that you write a prescribed number of pages each day. I used to just write whatever came out, but I can see how imposing some discipline on the process might cause you to go deeper or work harder.
I’ve seen the women’s memorial but I never realized they’d “climbed off their pedestals”! Pretty great!
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May 14, 2010 at 6:29 pm
Yes, Sky, I’m looking forward to being more “present” here…said at the end of a day when I planned to blog but didn’t get around to it. 🙂
Steve, the idea of filling a set number of pages comes from Julia Cameron, although I don’t follow her rules for “morning pages” exactly. But if I didn’t set a page limit, I’d stop writing when I “didn’t have anything to say,” which would happen after two sentences or so. I really need the “goad” to make it to the end of however many pages I “must” write.
And yeah…I probably wouldn’t have gotten the “climbing off their pedestal” reference, either, if I hadn’t read it on the Memorial’s webpage. 🙂
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May 21, 2010 at 9:47 am
Great post! I also feel the need for a routine even if I haven’t yet mastered it. But I have become convinced just like you that you need to do it now, not when life will calm down. Being in Europe I had no clue about this beautiful women sculpture and didn’t know who Phillis Weatley was. Thanks for sharing, you made my day!
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