Last night, I gave consulting interviews at the Cambridge Zen Center: a chance for practitioners to have a one-on-one conversation with a senior teacher.
One of the best bits of advice I ever got about giving consulting interviews came from Zen Master Bon Haeng (aka Mark Houghton), who sat next to me the first time I gave a round of interviews. Consulting interviews, he explained, aren’t about answering questions; consulting interviews are about sharing an experience with the person sitting across from you.
I think of Zen Master Mark’s advice whenever I ring the interview room bell to signal the next person to come in and sit down. If consulting interviews were about answering questions, I’d have to worry about knowing enough to say the right thing. But since consulting interviews are about sharing an experience, I don’t have to know anything to give a good interview: I just have to show up, sit down, and be present for whatever arises.
These three guidelines–show up, sit down, and be present–are the same whether you sit in the teacher’s or the student’s seat: these three guidelines, in fact, apply to pretty much any face-to-face encounter. And as if to underscore that point, last night when I walked into interview room, I found it was already occupied by two plump teddy bears sharing a face-to-face experience that transcended human words.
Dec 24, 2014 at 11:06 pm
Merry Christmas, Lorianne!
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Dec 25, 2014 at 5:53 am
LOL — love the teddy bears! I think I always approached interview strictly in a get-an-answer-to-a-question way, so it’s interesting to hear your words about sharing. That kind of puts it in a different light.
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Dec 25, 2014 at 8:20 am
So cute the teddy bears!
A Merry Christmas and a Wonderful New Year to you and yours!
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Dec 29, 2014 at 4:42 am
I think “interviews’/dokusan is where ‘suburban’ or non-celibate zen falls apart because no-one in their right mind would spend time helping the ungrateful . .
the degree of personal involvement and the cost to the person giving the interview is unbelievable . . .
I’ve had interviews with quite a few people/’teachers” and the one I liked most was dae kwang because he was the most affable, somewhat jaded and accepted you as a person ! .. :o)
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Feb 25, 2015 at 1:25 pm
I was looking for a picture for our facebook page to invite people to consulting interviews… and I love this one with the bears. Hope you don’t mind if I steal it 🙂 I, too learned how to do consulting interviews from Mark. Found it always good advice to remember. Hapchang, Claudia.
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