This past weekend, just over a month after we’d put our white German shepherd, Cassie, to sleep, J and I brought home a three-year-old black Belgian Malinois named Toivo.
When we put Cassie to sleep on New Year’s Day, I was ready to spend a good long time grieving, but J believes in quickly moving on. It’s impossible to replace one pet with another, but welcoming a new pet provides a welcome distraction from the empty feeling you experience when you still expect your old pet to be there, but they aren’t: a phenomenon J and I call “phantom dog.”
Toivo wasted no time settling into her new home, hopping right onto our bed and lounging at full length. When we open the door to her crate, she walks in without any prompting, and when I ask her to sit while I put on my coat before our morning walks, she duly complies while looking at me with an intent stare: “Hurry up.” Best of all, Toivo has quickly befriended Djaro, our other dog, racing around with him in our fenced dog pen, each of them intent on their favorite toy.
Toivo is not a replacement for Cassie: their personalities are completely different. Cassie was affectionate with people but anxious around other dogs, barking and lunging and making it nearly impossible to walk her in a neighborhood full of dog-walkers. Toivo, on the other hand, is hyper but stable. She is completely unfazed by Djaro, and she is eager to DO SOMETHING the moment either J or I show any indication of moving. But the moment I sit at my desk, she calms and quiets, as if turning a switch.
You don’t get a new dog to replace the old one. You get a new dog to fill the emptiness the old one left behind. Our phantom dog isn’t entirely gone: both J and I occasionally call Toivo “Cassie” by accident, and she doesn’t seem to mind. One testament to how much you loved your old dog is your willingness to open your heart to a new one, despite the empty hole you know they’ll eventually leave behind.
Feb 7, 2018 at 7:10 pm
A new beginning- with an open heart. As you said it doesn’t replace, but helps to fill a void.
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Feb 7, 2018 at 11:42 pm
The Nordic Names website has an interesting entry on the name “Toivo,” which has almost the same semantic field as the Chinese character “信,” which is pronounced “shin” in Korean, and which implies things like faith, hope, and trust. A right proper name for a dog, methinks.
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Feb 8, 2018 at 4:36 am
We’re not sure how a female Dutch dog ended up with a male Finnish name, but it’s what she answers to. 🙂
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Feb 8, 2018 at 6:27 am
Well… she answers to it because she’s not attached to name and form! Heh.
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Feb 10, 2018 at 6:53 am
lost on a dark night, a black dog !
owner’s excuse : the street lights were out and she just disappeared !
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Feb 10, 2018 at 7:36 am
Her collar has a light on it we turn on when she’s outside after dark. 🙂
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